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But I had critical thoughts about every fat person I saw, the way my mother did. They were lower-order human beings—except for Aaron.
I also began fretting about the 15 pounds I needed to lose, which hadn’t bothered me much before.
A few pounds is quite different than a 75 or 100 pound gain over the years.
He sounds like a great guy, but don't take the blinders off. I recall my mother looking at an obese person we happened to pass on the street and saying, “Isn’t that terrible that your problems are visible for everyone to see.” I met my partner—let’s call him Aaron—about a year ago, several years after she died.Although I am sure she would have liked Aaron—everybody does—I know she would have urged me anxiously to push him to lose weight.Aaron was noble about it: he saw that I was “dealing with the issue” in this way, but he did keep me in line, when I went too far. Hence my advice: If your partner has become heavier, and you find yourself less attracted, I believe that the solution lies in the quality of your interactions.Work on the relationship—which might mean apologizing for past mistakes, being more candid, taking an interest in areas of your partner’s life you tend to ignore, or finding new ways to have fun.