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It’s not a big deal to us, so we don’t get that it’s a big deal to them.We don’t get that our responses to these little choices to trust or not trust—or, at least, act like we do!Unfortunately, in one area men have every right to read something into what we say—and that is when we have jumped to negative conclusions about them.When we really examine our communication, we’ll be astounded at how often it assumes something bad about the man we love. We assume, “He needs to be reminded” To us, repeatedly asking “Have you done it yet? But inherent in the question is our assumption that the guy needs the reminder—that he is either incapable of remembering on his own or that he remembers just fine but needs our prodding to do the job.
One man with a stressful job noted that he sometimes feels like a computer that will crash if he tries to load one more thing onto it.
Several men confessed that they felt like their opinions and decisions were actively valued in every area of their lives except at home.
Some men felt that their comrades at work trusted their judgment more than their own wives did.
And if they can, they feel like they have conquered something and are affirmed as men.
For some reason, spending hours figuring out how to put together the new DVD player is fun.
I consider them torture.” Be respectful even when he’s absent Having seen how important public respect is to men (it is almost impossible to overstate), I have become incredibly sensitive to how often we might talk negatively about them behind their backs.